Bully at Work Moody Boss Karma Office Gossip No Picnic Back stabber Plug your Ears Moody Boss

Arnie Herz, Esq. responds…

arnie herz esqArnie Herz is a dynamic and sought-after speaker in the legal, professional service and larger business markets. He has inspired and trained thousands of lawyers and executives to master the art of relationships for tangible bottom-line results. Arnie brings 17 years of experience, insights and practical wisdom gained as a lawyer, mediator and business advisor to his work at Legal Sanity® Learning Programs, the training and development venture he launched in 2004. In his unique and comprehensive programs, Arnie offers hands-on, interactive exercises and learning modules that empower participants to achieve unparalleled career and personal success.

Anchoring Arnie’s diverse offerings is the XE Factor™– his model of human energy exchange that considers how an issue, interaction or activity impacts individuals and groups on an energetic level — an energetic impact that directly influences and controls business results. Through Legal Sanity® Learning Programs, Arnie teaches people to consistently harness the XE Factor™ to their advantage while avoiding unfavorable outcomes. A highly skilled communicator and engaging presenter, Arnie’s passion for reaching and teaching others translates well across a range of media.

Legal Sanity — Arnie’s popular blog featured in the Law.com network’s Legal Blog Watch — has a wide international audience and high visibility due to its rich content on optimizing the business of law. Arnie’s leading-edge approach and ideas have been covered in prominent print publications in the United States, Canada and Australia. He has also made television appearances as an expert commentator and hosts his own weekly radio show, the Legal Sanity Moment. For more information about Arnie Herz and Legal Sanity® Learning Programs, please call 516.767.0800, email arnie@arnieherz.com or visit www.arnieherz.com.

Losing our Patience and Patients

One physician, Lulu, is habitually late – late with her patient appointments, late with making her contributions for paying the bills. We’ve told her that her tardiness is costing us money… and opens us up to certain liabilities. Arnie Herz, New York based lawyer responds: “You may have more legal leverage then you think. Perhaps you can sue her for breaching her fiduciary duty and her professional duties.”

Needy coworker leaves me feeling swindled

The Admin in our department just went through a divorce and has 2 children. Long story short, cubicles are not private and we have all tried to help. Arnie Herz, New York based lawyer responds: “You have a good heart. Here is my rule: You need. I give. You benefit. You appreciate me. If all four do not come together, it’s a waste of my time, energy and money. It creates resentment in me and I feel depleted.”

Stuck in the Law Firm from Hell

Help! I am stuck in the law firm from hell, and I am not the only one that thinks so. Arnie Herz, New York based lawyer responds: “Here you have a double whammy. The people you work with AND the work you are doing depletes you in a significant way. You need to find work that is fulfilling and people who are positive and supportive.”

Egotistical, self centered, sarcastic attitude loses sales

My supervisor has proceeded to upset a large majority of our advertiser reps with his “egotistical, self centered, sarcastic” attitude (ad rep words, not mine!). Arnie Herz, New York based lawyer responds: “You need to get beyond the “tattle-tale” fear. The current dynamic is not serving anyone – the owner, the customers, you, the other employees, and even the supervisor. Something needs to shift the status quo or this company will be extinct in short order. ”

Part I: The Lazy Manager

I just don’t understand how a company can hang onto someone who doesn’t pull their weight. Please advise. Arnie Herz, New York based lawyer responds: “It seems to me that Lazy Manager won’t change. Therefore, let’s focus on what you need to feel better about the situation.”

Part I: Why was I booted off customer training?

My Manager has taken the training of our customer service reps from my responsibility and given it to another person. Arnie Herz, New York based lawyer responds: “You have a few options. You can consult a crystal ball, a psychic, you can run through possibilities in your head, you can ask friends to guess…”

Revolving door position: Is it me or them?

Since she was hired, she has stated repeatedly that she could get another job anytime she wanted, and has quit 3 times. Arnie Herz, New York based lawyer responds: “You admit you are “not a diplomatic person”, the new employee complains that you are overly critical and intolerant, and your boss, who has known you for awhile, believes the problem will resolve itself once you take a course to learn how to better communicate and relate to people…”

Helping a friend trapped in a dead-end position, got me in hot water

The employee confided in me and asked if I would give his resume to my wife, who heads a large organization in another (non-competing) company. Arnie Herz and Jennifer Glueck Bezoza responded to this dilemma.

Boss’ new ‘pet’ is an incompetent brown-noser

What can I do to expose my colleague Mr. Brown-Nose? Arnie Herz, New York based lawyer responds: “When in a bad situation, there are typically three options in order of what most people do: 1. Stay frustrated. 2. Quit and find a new job. 3. Cause real change…”

Spread news of coworker leaving

I participated for the first time in a employee review session and I repeated a remark made to me that one of our colleagues had told me in a casual conversation that he might want to leave the company to work elsewhere. Arnie Herz, New York based lawyer responds: “As an employee you have an obligation to act in the company’s best interests. On the other hand, depending on your role, you may need to afford your co-workers an open ear so they can share things with you confidentially as a means to helping them sort through issues that impeded their effectiveness…”

Preordained Winner?

While working on the review, I find out that one of the bidders had already given my manager’s son a summer job. I get the feeling that no matter what the results of the review, the winner is pre-ordained… Arnie Herz, New York based lawyer responds: “If it was pre-ordained, why would the manager waste your time having you do the review?”

Former Male Model Can’t Get No Respect

Everyone at work is always complimenting my work and my looks, I’m male so it is kind of odd but flattering nonetheless. I used to be a former Calvin Klein model… Lately, even though I’m being invited on business trips, I’m being excluded from meetings within the office. Arnie Herz, New York based lawyer responds: “You are in a common dilemma. Common in the sense that you are not being valued and respected the way you need and deserve. For you, your good looks are an asset but also an impediment to the extent people cannot see the intelligent person you are. For others, it might be their body, their connections, their fame or perceived lack of experience that prevents others from seeing them fully and accurately.”

No-tell Hotel Auditor

I find myself becoming the target of office management because everyone has become so complacent that they don’t speak up, and their work is sloppy at best, which directly affects my shift… Arnie Herz, New York based lawyer responds: “You seem like a smart person. My bet is that you should be able to find a better fit for your needs and get out of this bad situation…”

Ideas Being Filtered

The C.F.O. recently told me to “Stop emailing the Boss and pass your ideas to me. I’ll ‘filter’ them to him as I see fit.” Arnie Herz, New York based lawyer responds: “It seems you have an insecure boss who is threatened and/or annoyed by you. As a result, she is trying to keep you contained in a limited role…”

The Secretaries All Hate Me

The women in my office hate me. I am an attorney and took a “temp” legal job at my firm 3 months ago via a headhunter… Arnie Herz, New York based lawyer responds: “Brusque, demanding, unfriendly boss. Very hostile secretaries who hate you and don’t even say hello. No chance of changing the environment. Wow…”

Receptionist As Gps Device

I fear that a serious situation will result from not being able to find the attorneys and I will be left “holding the bag”… Arnie Herz, New York based lawyer responds: “You can’t control this partner any more than you can control the next hurricane. If someone blames you for the next hurricane, you would laugh..”

Ready To Quit But Owe Company Tuition

I’m ready to call it quits. Unfortunately, I owe the company another year’s time because they paid for my tuition… Arnie Herz, New York based lawyer responds: “This is a complex situation and I don’t want to give you a superficial answer. The stakes are high in that your tuition is at stake.”

Slacker Co-Worker Getting High At My Expense

One afternoon, I smelled marijuana on him… Needless to say, after doing most of the work to find out he’s coming in high… I got mad. Arnie Herz, New York based lawyer responds: “You both need to get clear on what your true needs are. Then, you both need to learn how to effectively communicate those needs (no blaming) to each other.”

Appreciated In Lip-Service Only

I’ve been a Secretary/Administrative Assistant for over 20 years. I love what I do… Yet, employers seem to be clueless when it comes to rewarding me… Arnie Herz, New York based lawyer responds: “Tell them that you need to be valued in a concrete way. Mere lip service will not do it. You want that appreciation fully reflected in the check you receive every two weeks.”

Being Connected Is A Double-Edged Sword

Most of these people have had their jobs awhile and look at me as a threat because I know the owner… Arnie Herz, New York based lawyer responds: “It is great to have the ambition to become a manager. To be a truly great manager (which is a type of leader), you need to develop many skills and qualities….”

You’re Fired!

I was fired just three days before my probation was complete and I have no idea why… Arnie Herz, New York based lawyer responds: “It is good to want to get the information. You need to be more persistent (but not aggressive) in getting the information…”

Is It Bad To Voice My Opinion?

Someone in the office told me that he heard about the conversations I had, and is worried that I am being “labeled”. Arnie Herz, New York based lawyer responds: “A company is fortunate to have employees who care enough to speak out about issues that may be hindering performance… Now, what to do when you don’t get results?”

Double-Standards Driving Me Crazy

But the double standards pile up. He called me into his office for inappropriate work attire… So I switched… However, no one else in the office changed . Arnie Herz, New York based lawyer asks, “Why do you (and others like you) stay in such situations when you know it is so unhealthy and where meaningful change of the work environment is as likely as a month-long blizzard on the equator?”

Changing First Impressions

I later realized my conversation was taken out of context by other employees, and used as a shallow basis to make judgements on my character… Arnie Herz, New York based lawyer pulls no punches, “Sounds like the “parasitic female workers” you refer to may have a point. You have mastered the art of blaming and insulting others, playing victim and taking zero responsibility for your role in the situation.”


My Boss has been a bully, a ‘my-way-or-the-highway’ type of guy with a napoleon complex… Arnie Herz, New York based lawyer responds, “As you state, your boss is a bully. And, unfortunately, being a bully to my knowledge is not grounds for an EEOC claim. When I do corporate trainings on preventing harassment in the workplace, I make it clear that the equal opportunity jerk or bully is fully protected, unless of course he/she has discriminated against someone for an illegal reason.”

How come hardworking honest and focused individuals always lose out to pathetic scheming inefficient people and their clout? Arnie Herz responds

I have considered resigning as union president, but believe that would be a “cop out”… Arnie Herz responds

I am honestly so torn, so tortured I cannot think anymore… Arnie Herz responds

Girl power environment or sexually inappropriate comments or both? Arnie Herz responds

On July 7th, the day of the first transit bombings in London… Arnie Herz responds

I think our district manager is ripping us off… Arnie Herz responds

A few people think I am assigned to do all the ‘grunt’ work… Arnie Herz responds

I found out that my colleague is cheating the company over time claims… Arnie Herz responds

I was romantically linked to a female colleague… In the end, she accused me of having been pursuing her, in such a way as to cause her distress… Arnie Herz responds

Arnie Herz, is a lawyer, mediator, speaker, author and consultant nationally recognized for his practical and inspired approach to conflict resolution and client counseling. Visit his blog at LegalSanity.com