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The Office Princess likes to flirt all day

Dear Office-Politics,

Recently one of the girls in our office has developed a princess attitude. She is constantly talking about herself and makes everything be about her. If she is not the center of attention, then the world is not right. She likes to float around all day and flirt with the men that work here. She also kisses a lot of butt during the day.

I have repeatedly expressed my frustrations and feelings to the two top leaders, but have basically been squashed. Now there is an extreme amount of tension in the office and it is because of her. She is acting like the victim. I am frustrated because I feel like I am in a no-win situation. Yet I’m the office manager. I’ve asked the bosses to address this, but if anything I feel like it has added fuel to the fire and everything is on her side. A new office clique has seemed to have started, with her as the center and the rest are all men.

I’ve about had it but don’t know what to do.


Fed-Up with the Office Flirt

franke james

Dear Fed-Up with the Office Flirt,

The flirtatious Princess (The Flirt) in your midst does sound nauseating, but let’s try to get some perspective so you can stomach working in the same office. The Flirt is using her sex appeal as a tool to increase her value in the office. The guys around her are clearly enjoying the game. This is an age old story.

Sex, or even the promise of sex, in the office creates an unprofessional environment (unless you’re in the pornography business). It’s hard for anyone to concentrate on work when sex is the undercurrent of every conversation — even if you aren’t participating. Many companies today have strict policies and have banned office romances outright (or transferred or fired employees when love blooms) for just these reasons.

As the Office Manager you have done the responsible thing and reported her behavior to the company owners. They’ve ignored and rejected your concerns. It will take a public embarrassment (remember the Boeing CEO who was fired over a sexual impropriety with an employee? Or think back to that infamous intern in the White House…) to make them realize that there are many good reasons, directly connected to the bottom-line, to discourage sex in the office. Do we want to go back to the times when it was commonplace for CEO’s to have sex with their secretaries? Enron, Worldcom and the myriad other misbehaving corporations have made the public skittish. Sexual hijinks in the office make people nervous about the company’s morals. Even when there is no grounds for concern.

So what can you do? Unfortunately you are now perceived as ‘the morals police‘. I suggest you step back so that her behavior becomes the hot topic in the office, not yours. Most office romances have a short lifespan. Especially if she is jumping from bed to bed, or desk to desk in this case.

Rest assured, it’s only a matter of time before the Flirt’s name is unflatteringly associated with an embarrassing sexual faux pas. Hope this helps. Thanks for writing to Office-Politics.


Franke James, MFA
Editor & Founder, Office-Politics.com


Franke James, MFA is the Editor & Founder of Office-Politics.com. She is also the Inventor of The Office-Politics® Game a dilemma-based social game that teaches you how to play, and laugh, at office politics. It’s used by HR departments, and corporate trainers worldwide. The Office-Politics Dilemmas have been inspired by the hundreds of letters submitted to Office-Politics.com.

Publication note: This letter was originally published in April 2005. We are republishing the best letters from Office-Politics and integrating them with our blog format.

  1. 6 Answers to “The Office Princess likes to flirt all day”

  2. Feedback from Fed-Up with the Office Flirt

    Thank you for the advice. Sometimes we get caught up in the way people around us are acting/behaving way too much which leads us to not concentrate on the work that is in front of us. I’ve been trying to ignore the situation, and it has not been easy. It’s difficult to deal with when I as a woman use her brains to get ahead, and another uses her body.

    Looking forward to reading more advice on your website. Thanks!

    By Letter Writer on Apr 23, 2007

  3. We have one of those in our office too, but the office manager told me to stroke her ego.

    By susan on Apr 28, 2009

  4. We also have one who beleives the whole world is all about her. And has got the men eating out of the palm of her hand and sucks up to women by acting like she’s your best friend – your only best friend.

    It’s irritating coz she’s unpredictable and you can’t take her word any time esp since she’s my peer. I can see the results though, the director thinks she’s a star and now everyone is sucking up to her to get ahead…no one is bothering with performance. Truly frustrating!

    By Nduts on Jun 18, 2009

  5. My office has this self -obsessed woman who has an attitude. She actually looks like a not so beatiful ladyboy her best friend actually told people (not to her knowledge) that she is a “bondan”- in our language it means transexual. She is doing nothing during office hours except to face booking in fact just to go through picture of her own self posted by herself or her friends. She can look at her own pictures posted in the face book day in day out up to million times (up to now) and still continuing.when came to admiring her ownself no one can beat her.

    Am having problem with her cos she was using a computer which the boss directed not to be used by anyone and only that computer has internet connection. I could only use it through the secretary. However, teh poor secreatary was forced out of his place cos this self-obsessed cant bear not to see her own beautiful picture and people comments on her beautiful face for even 1 minute. so one day I told her not to sit there as that is the boss’ instruction. She immediately gone mad and shout and scream and say inter alia that she has no problem to let anyone use it when ask (when in actual fact she has no right to use that computer at all) and she said that now that she wont use again nobody can use including me except the secretary. I dont use in the first place, I follow boss’ instruction

    This self-obsessed woman is only a purportedly account clerk and she passed her work to other person while she engage on hours and hours long phone talk or admiring her “beautiful picture” in face book. Nobody really like her cos she is so manipulative but people in my office except me all of very good nature so nobody really bother about her.

    However, I doubt if any office would allow a worker to work on face book as of right during office hours- continuously for whole day and every working day cos boss has no time to check on the employees. For this self obssessed woman, apparently, it is. She is Princess Emmie B S

    By Mike on Aug 9, 2009

  6. Maybe she is just an attractive person who makes you feel unattractive?

    By Genie on Dec 30, 2010

  7. I don’t think it’s about sex at all with this woman. I think it’s about power. She wants to be the center of attention. Give her loads of work to do and keep her busy. Sounds like she has too much free time on her hands.

    By Sandy on Sep 29, 2014

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