Bully at Work Moody Boss Karma Office Gossip No Picnic Back stabber Plug your Ears Moody Boss

Should employees “kiss up” to get ahead?

Dear Office-Politics,

My boss has resigned and has recommended to his superiors that he wants his secretary to be promoted to senior office supervisor. Two junior supervisors (also her boss) who deserve to be given the chance for promotion will most likely be passed up due to the fact that they don’t kiss up. Does it mean that one’s education and many years of company loyalty means nothing if you don’t kiss up?

Non-kisser

OFFICE-POLITICS REPLY BY DR. JOHN BURTON
dr. john burton

Dear Non-kisser,

Sometimes it is the case that those employees who “kiss up” get ahead. But is that really the case here?

Behavior that may look like “kissing up” to someone who is cynical may in fact be a good working relationship. Is there perhaps a combination of personal warmth and competence here?

Congenial relationships benefit the company
One of the ways to combat the unhealthy sort of “Office Politics” which this website is all about, is to recognize that if people develop congenial relationships with their co-workers, the whole firm benefits. It is easier to count on someone to give that extra effort when needed if you have a relationship that includes taking time to get to know the person as a person.

If the promotion you are concerned about goes to an unqualified person solely because of their good relationship with the departing boss, the firm will pay the price for that decision. The employee promoted beyond their competence will also pay the price when they find themselves unable to cope. If she/he can cope with the job, then you really have nothing to complain about.

Thanks for writing to Office-Politics.

Dr. John Burton


Dr. John Burton LL.B. M.B.A. M.Div. Ph.D. is an ethicist, mediator, lawyer and theologian. He has taught alternative dispute resolution at Queen’s Law School and Ethics at the Schulich School of Business. John was recently located in Prince Rupert, B.C., Canada, working with Canada’s aboriginal communities. He is now teaching at UBC, Okanagan Campus.


Publication note: This letter was originally published in 2003. We are republishing the best letters from Office-Politics and integrating them with our blog format.

  1. 3 Answers to “Should employees “kiss up” to get ahead?”

  2. Okay, and everything you say is true. But, my impression, having been out in the work world for twenty years now is that, in every work situation, there is a cad who makes work as difficult as possible for everyone they come in contact with because they see it as job security to torment their coworkers and subordinates. Often times this cad has more seniority than anyone because they have created a revolving door all around themselves. You say the organization will suffer if the “kiss up” is not really competent but that makes it sound like “kiss ups” being promoted is the exception rather than the rule. The fact is, every organization I have worked for is loaded with fools at the top and they always seem to go bankrupt shortly after I get hired. Incompetence at the top is the reason why we just bailed out the banks. As a matter of fact, incompetence is wildly common. Incompetence is not at all rare.

    I think it is definitely time for companies to embrace a more productive corporate corporate culture. But it wont happen. And although I am unemployed right now, I have that wonderful day when I eventually have to go back to work to look forward to. YAY!!! I can hardly contain my enthusiasm.

    By May U. Knowme on Jun 8, 2009

  3. Unfortunately, Kiss ups do get ahead. There is a particular person at my office who has at one point or another, has become rude, screaming and yelling at another staff memeber. This person has continued to climb the corp ladder, to everyone’s dismay. Why? Kissing up to the bosses. So now this person is a boss.

    By Sylvia on Sep 22, 2009

  4. The bottom line is that a person must live with themself. I do not recommend kissing-up to people. It typically means embracing a lot of ineptitude and ignorance. There’s a standard of bare minimum and it makes it hard to be serious when you need to be. Where I work it is perpetuated by nepotism and good old boy/girl’ ism. I am thankful I get to work out of the office. I can’t stand that office. I recommend if you do kiss up have your aces ready in case it goes south. That, of course, requires being a game player. Nuff’ said.

    By johnson on Oct 20, 2014

What's your advice?

(You can also tweet it to @dearOP)


The Office-Politics Letters that appears as a feature of this Website are an educational and discussion oriented column designed to help the reader better understand ethical issues. The matters discussed in the letter are reviewed in a summary and abbreviated way and are only meant to foster thinking on the part of the reader. If a person decides to adopt or implement suggestions, they do so at their own risk. No representation or warranty is provided in relation to suggestions or the contents of the advice letter. Neither the authors of the advice letter, Franke James, John W. Burton, Rick Brandon, Marty Seldman, Timothy Johnson, Jennifer Glueck Bezoza, Gregory Ketchum, Erika Andersen, past advisers, guest advisers or the owners of this Website accept any liability whatsoever for any opinions expressed in the letter or for errors and omissions. All submissions to www.officepolitics.com will remain anonymous. No email addresses or identifying names will be published. Submission of letters to the Office-Politics Forum grants the Publisher, Nerdheaven Ltd. the right to reproduce, republish, repurpose and excerpt the submission in any and all other media, without compensation or contacting the author. Copyright The James Gang, Iconoclasts Inc., 2002-2023.

© 2000-2023, The James Gang, Iconoclasts Inc. All rights reserved. OFFICE-POLITICS is a registered trademark.