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Everybody gets a gift card except me…

Dear Office-Politics,

I have worked at a company for less than a year. I was married after I had been at the company for about 6 months. Traditionally whenever anyone is married, has a baby, death, special event a card is passed around and money is collected. This happens at least once every two weeks. However, for my wedding NOTHING was done. No cards, no announcements, nothing. Today I received an email asking for donations for someone’s birthday. I went to go sign the card and was told I needed to donate in order to sign it.

What is going on? What should I do / expect? Should I pay or not pay and not sign the card. When I inquired about this I was told it is cards are normally reserved for those that have been around for more than a year. Am I expecting too much just to receive a simple card on the biggest day of my life? Should I wait a year before I donate myself?

Thanks,

Newbie Newlywed

OFFICE-POLITICS REPLY BY FRANKE JAMES
franke james

Dear Newbie Newlywed,

What a dumb policy not to give cards to people for a year. My suggestion is to rise above their pettiness and contribute to the card.

You won’t get anywhere (socially) by not contributing. The office gossips may draw unfair conclusions about your character — e.g. “Well he said he wanted to sign the card, and then I told him he had to contribute money like everybody else and he walked away… What kind of person won’t give a small amount for a coworker’s birthday?” They’ll tear you to shreds. The fact that they stupidly overlooked your wedding won’t be mentioned in their script.

The ‘good’ that can come of this is that you will be more empathetic. Whoever is the brains behind the company ‘gift and card’ policy is mean-spirited. There’s a new book out called “The Power of Nice: How to Conquer the Business World With Kindness“>The Power of Nice.”

I am just reading it now — but the quick scoop is it’s got the right message. ‘Be nice’ and know that it can be the path to success.

Thanks for writing to www.officepolitics.com

Let me know your feedback.

Franke

Franke James, MFA
Editor & Founder, Office-Politics.com
Inventor, The Office-Politics Game

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