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Prosecutor’s follow up letter

Prosecutor’s reply

Dear Office-Politics,

Thanks for the response. I am keeping things in perspective. Fortunately, my friends outside the workplace are wonderful and supportive.

To answer your question about attracting people: I’m not sure how to attract my co-workers to me. I think part of my problem may be confidence. I’m shy. Also, due to recent events in my life (my wife died before I moved here), my co-workers, I think, sense a sadness and loneliness in me. I try to be cheery, but certain anniversaries are difficult. At different times, two co-workers, not understanding, have stopped by to say, “Are you okay?” (I don’t know that much can be done about this; I view grieving as a necessary process, not something to be avoided). While my friends understand why I’m this way, my co-workers do not. Let’s face it: people are not attracted to people who are sad! That’s probably a big factor in my isolation in the workplace, and I suppose I should have mentioned it in my earlier email to you.

Maybe if I showed more confidence, people would be more attracted to me. Incredibly, some of the most popular and respected attorneys in my office are cocky — I think a lot of prosecutors view that quality as a positive in the courtroom and in dealing with defense counsel.

I think it is telling that the people I’m closest to in the office are paralegals. They lack the arrogance of attorneys. I have supervised many of them, and that puts me in the position of allowing me to extend kindness to them — praising their work, being forgiving when they make mistakes, and, on occasion, buying them coffee and desserts after they’ve worked hard, for example.

I hate to think that giving gift or doing favors for other attorneys is going to make me more popular, but maybe that’s what it will take in the particular culture of my workplace. After all, my failure to “return” favors done by other attorneys is apparently what got me into this bind in the first place.

Thank you for listening. I really like the website, and I think it’s great that you perform this service.