OfficePolitics.com asked best-selling author, Dan Heath, how an Office-Politics reader (a teacher in an inner city high school) could make change happen, when change is very hard.
Dan wrote, “What you’re describing is a culture problem, and culture change takes time. I don’t have a quick fix. But I want to suggest some things that could make things better. Not perfect, but better.”
Dear Office Politics,
I try to be a nice person at work and to stay out of politics however about a couple weeks ago I made a comment about a coworker that I know I shouldn’t have and now I think it’s going to bite me in the butt. I noticed that one of my coworkers leaves for lunch everyday and then comes back and eats his lunch at his desk. I thought that maybe he does contractual work on the side during his lunch break and was curious about it. While chatting with some coworkers I mentioned it. It wasn’t to a supervisor or anyone of authority, I didn’t want to get him into trouble or anything. I felt bad right after I said it, but I guess I thought it wasn’t going to go past the room, and no harm no foul.
Well, today he loudly announced to my boss and other coworkers that we need to have a meeting about gossip mongering because people are saying nasty things about what he does at lunch. I don’t know what to do as I’m scared to admit that I’m the one that said it. Also this coworker has a bad temper and can be very mean. How should I play this? In some hot water.
In Some Hot Water
Sometimes we get a letter that poses such a universal dilemma that it’s worth exploring in more depth, and from multiple angles. This letter is a case in point. Gossip is a problem that plagues workplaces everywhere. Here are three responses to the same letter from three Office-Politics Advisers: Author and award-winning journalist, Rona Maynard; Author and Founder, Skill Source, Jennifer Miller; and Office-Politics.com Founder and Author, Franke James.
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Dear Hot Water, About to bite you in the butt, you say? It already has, and hard. Your co-worker has a good notion who’s been questioning his loyalty–and now your boss does, too. The sooner you come clean and accept responsibility for playing fast and loose with your colleague’s reputation, the better your chances of salvaging your own. There comes a point in every career where you simply have to swallow your pride and say, without equivocation or excuses, “I screwed up and I couldn’t be sorrier.” For you that turning point is now…. |
Dear Hot Water, There is a Chinese Proverb that says “What is told in the ear of a man is often heard 100 miles away.” News travels fast, especially that of a gossipy nature. What started out as rather benign curiosity on your part has quickly turned into an awkward situation with the wronged party making a public declaration of “gossip-mongering.” It’s natural to be curious about a co-worker; we’re human beings after all! Our human curiosity can lead to wonderful inventions and unique problem-solving. The challenge is, sometimes our curiosity leads us to places where we have no business being. |
Dear Hot Water, Your last line “How should I play this?” is where I’m going to start. I sense from your question, that you see office politics as a game – and that you’d like to be able to play it to your advantage. So that’s where I’ll focus my advice. Not surprisingly (given that I’m the creator of the game-book, Dear Office-Politics) I like to view office politics as a game. And like all games, this one has rules (mostly unwritten), strategies, power plays, opposing teams, a scoreboard, and ultimately winners and losers. But as in sports, you don’t need to play dirty to win… |
In 2008, Franke James was an unpublished writer who walked away from a major U.S. publisher and a $20,000 book advance. Why?
James talks about her decision: “It was like a dilemma straight out of Dear Office-Politics. I can laugh about it now, but it was a tough situation. The publisher seemingly held all the power. The book I’d worked six years to create was being changed from a colorful role-playing game into a standard, gray-text, “business” book. This suited the publisher just fine. But for me, it was the antithesis of what I’d dreamed of. I’d beta-tested a new type of training book that merged entertainment and education. It got people talking about touchy office politics issues and practicing ethical decision-making. That was the book I had a burning desire to publish.
BY STEVE HEARSUM
Curious as to what possessed the CEO to propose that strategy, when everyone knows it is barking mad? Baffled as to why you have just spent three hours in a meeting that was supposed to come up with a cunning plan, and all you are left with is a set of vague and fluffy actions requiring yet more interminably long strategy meetings?
Decisions! Decisions!
Most life changing events in our careers have at their root someone, somewhere, deciding something. Sometimes we may be present to influence that, others not. Either way, what, if anything, can we do about it? And how actually do humans make decisions? I mean, it’s a rational process, right?….
ForeWord Reviews just published the review (below) of Dear Office-Politics: the game everyone plays by Office-Politics Founder, Franke James, and featuring advice from James and Office-Politics Advisers: Erika Andersen, Rick Brandon, Jennifer Glueck Bezoza, John Burton, Timothy Johnson, Marty Seldman, and John Challenger. Foreword Reviews are made available to librarians and booksellers.
Dear Office Politics,
I am the manager of a small not for profit organization, I have had some personal problems which has meant that my work has been very poor over the last 6 months, I have received a warning about my performance and I am taking steps to rectify it.
The problem I have now is that my credibility has been completely undermined with the staff. Often I come into the office and it is as if am not there, people are going about their business and I am left out of the loop. They only refer to me when they need my signature and they seem to know that if I was to push them on something like attendance or performance that they can very easily retort with something like ‘who are you to tell me what to do after the way you have behaved’.
Dear Office Politics,
As a professional in a very large public institution, I work closely with two other colleagues. Both have worked in the field a few years longer than me. At first, the group dynamic was wonderful – productive, respectful, fun. We were truly a team, helping each other out, sharing ideas, brainstorming, complimentary about each other’s work. We shared materials, and I went out of my way to give them copies of everything I created so none of us would have to reinvent the wheel.
Not long ago, everything changed dramatically. If one of them ran an errand for lunch or materials, they’d “forget” to ask me if I needed anything. If they shared materials with each other, they’d “forget” to share the materials with me. They hang out in each others offices, but rarely stop by to see me or talk when I drop by their offices. At team meetings with the three of us, they look and talk to each other as if I weren’t in the room. I feel completely invisible, and I’m deeply hurt.
Dear Office-Politics:
the game everyone plays.
Winner of a 2010 AXIOM Business Book Award (Bronze, Human Resources and Training) Read about the game-book...
"Excellent! ...wonderful tool to bring sensitive issues out into the open in a non-threatening way that results in constructive processing. I highly recommend it!" Shannon Warren, Founder, Oklahoma Business Ethics
The Office-Politics Letters that appears as a feature of this Website are an educational and discussion oriented column designed to help the reader better understand ethical issues. The matters discussed in the letter are reviewed in a summary and abbreviated way and are only meant to foster thinking on the part of the reader. If a person decides to adopt or implement suggestions, they do so at their own risk. No representation or warranty is provided in relation to suggestions or the contents of the advice letter. Neither the authors of the advice letter, Franke James, John W. Burton, Rick Brandon, Marty Seldman, Timothy Johnson, Jennifer Glueck Bezoza, Gregory Ketchum, Erika Andersen, past advisers, guest advisers or the owners of this Website accept any liability whatsoever for any opinions expressed in the letter or for errors and omissions. All submissions to www.officepolitics.com will remain anonymous. No email addresses or identifying names will be published. Submission of letters to the Office-Politics Forum grants the Publisher, Nerdheaven Ltd. the right to reproduce, republish, repurpose and excerpt the submission in any and all other media, without compensation or contacting the author. Copyright The James Gang, Iconoclasts Inc., 2002-2026.
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