Bully at Work Moody Boss Karma Office Gossip No Picnic Back stabber Plug your Ears Moody Boss

Jennifer Glueck Bezoza responds…

jennifer glueck bezozaJennifer Glueck Bezoza specializes in leadership development and career coaching. Through her work in Organizational Development at the Visiting Nurse Service of New York, the largest not-for-profit home health organization in the United States, Jennifer designs, manages and facilitates leadership development programs, and also coaches teams and individuals. Previously, Jennifer led GE Commercial Finance’s employee engagement initiative and also served as an HR Generalist at GE. In addition, she worked as a consultant at Towers Perrin, a leading Human Resources consulting firm.

Jennifer was inspired to enter the field of Organizational Development in her first job after college, when she found herself working in an environment of siloed departments, unmotivated employees and a staid, hierarchical culture. Since then, she has been dedicated to developing leaders and improving organizations.

Jennifer holds an MA in Social-Organizational Psychology from Columbia University and a BA with honors in Humanities and Psychology from Stanford University. Jennifer is continuing her education through an executive and personal coaching program at New York University. Jennifer lives in New York City with her husband and daughter. For more information on Jennifer’s role as a coach please visit www.jenniferbezoza.com

Two Gossipy Queen Bees Rule

The problem is that the group I work with… They eat lunch together nearly every day. They discuss those not at lunch. When confronted with an issue at work they discuss it as a group and fear voicing their opinions in meetings (two queen bees rule the roost). Jennifer Glueck Bezoza responds: “It is indeed, unfortunate, that this “clique” operates so tightly and exerts so much pressure on you (and others) to socialize outside of the office. It’s also unfortunate that particular group members fear the “queen bees” and hold back their opinions in meetings for fear of upsetting the “popular” voices in the group…”

My boss is talking about me to everyone!

My ex-boss is talking about me to everyone. He has been going to other managers/co-workers and making very nasty and just untrue statements about me in a professional capacity. It is just gossip, pure and simple. Jennifer Glueck Bezoza responds: “Seeing the situation from your previous manager’s perspective for a moment, however, I could see how he would interpret your actions as antagonistic and threatening. He may have felt blindsided by your elevating the issue before giving him any direct feedback and allowing the opportunity for change. That being said, his retaliatory behavior is completely unprofessional and inappropriate. The fact that he would spreading malicious gossip about you indicates that he is a deeply insecure individual.”

How do I tell my fabulous bosses (who let me bring my baby to work) I’m leaving?

My company has said that want me to stay “long-term.” It is a 27 hour a week secretary job that I applied for to get me through the pregnancy and the first year of my new baby’s life but my real goal is to go to graduate school (5 hours away) and get a job in my field. They have shown me so much support and I feel terrible leaving them in 10 more months. What do I do? Jennifer Glueck Bezoza responds: “Indeed, your bosses sound supportive and unusually committed to you and your family’s well being. I understand why you feel so torn at the prospect of leaving in ten month’s time. I am sure your guilt is not assuaged by the fact that your managers see you as a long-term fit in this secretarial role, and that the previous employee in your role stayed for twenty-six years.”

I’m a cookie monster on my own birthday!?

Yesterday was my birthday. Boss brought in cookies and cupcakes to celebrate… At the end of the day, I took home what was left – 3 cookies and 6 cupcakes. This afternoon I received an e-mail from her stating, “In case you didn’t know; when I bring in treats for someone’s birthday, it is to be shared by the whole department. Thanks.” Jennifer Glueck Bezoza responds: “I can understand from your recent description of events why you might feel unfairly singled out by your boss. At the same time, unprofessional behavior towards you does not necessarily give you permission to display the same attitude in return. In other words, it may be unfair that your boss reprimanded you for “copping an attitude” in return to the Lead’s (whom she left in charge while away), but your sighing, making side comments and sighing loudly is objectively unprofessional and disruptive to others around you.”

Office baby boom elicits nasty jokes

I recently became pregnant… my supervisor joked that he was going to have new women employees sign a waiver stating that they would have their tubes tied before starting at our company. Jennifer Glueck Bezoza responds: “What is clear from your explanation is that you are a highly valued revenue-producing manager at your consulting firm. In addition, it’s obvious that your supervisor is nervous and insecure with the idea of your going on maternity leave, and his comments may be a reflection of his anxiety more than anything else.”

Company appears to be run from the bottom up

How should an experienced older worker deal with this disrespect from lower-level employees? This company appears to be run from the bottom up. Jennifer Glueck Bezoza responds: “Approach this temporary assignment with a learning mindset. Difficult people and challenging situations offer you the greatest opportunity to try out new techniques, develop new skills and gain greater self-awareness.”

The Boss brings the office snitch soda pop

The secretary is what I call an “office snitch”….Has become too close to the male boss and uses it to her advantage…. He brings soda pop and shares them with her, but has never offered them to others in the office. Jennifer Glueck Bezoza responds: “I would ask that you objectively examine the stakes of her manipulation… I ask in the greater picture of life and work, how significant is it if one of the partners does a small errand on her behalf? Or if the partners gain useful information through this individual? Is this situation really worth your time and energy?”

‘Performing exceptionally’ and yet shafted again

I have no interest in staying at a much lower level than what I was hired at. The second demotion was insulting and publicly humiliating, especially since once again I have been “performing exceptionally”. Jennifer Glueck Bezoza responds: “I admire your willingness to remain positive and make the best of two organizational restructurings, which have resulted in you reporting to lower ranks in the organization. You seem to be getting mixed signals from the organization.”

Part II: Needy coworker leaves me feeling swindled

The Admin in our department just went through a divorce and has 2 children. Long story short, cubicles are not private and we have all tried to help. Jennifer Glueck Bezoza responds: “You seem like a generous and thoughtful person who goes out of her way to be a good Samaritan. There are many individuals in this world that would appreciate such benevolence. This administrative assistant, however, does not sound like one of them. She sounds like an ungrateful woman playing the part of “victim” with drama and manipulation.”

The seasonal worker is disrespecting me

My boss is obviously not going to be in my corner if I go to her with yet another example of how this seasonal is disrespecting me and my position. Jennifer Glueck Bezoza responds: “There’s nothing more frustrating than interacting with an individual who is supposed to be your subordinate, but who actively disregards your authority. For someone who considers herself friendly and affable, I would imagine this work conflict is psychologically draining…”

Part I: I was let go unfairly. Should I tell Board Member?

I think I was let go unfairly, and am thinking about letting him know the unfairness of how I was treated… Jennifer Glueck Bezoza responds: “I personally don’t see how attacking others he works closely with and has had longer history with, would enhance his perception of you. Instead, I might suggest…”

Part II: Office Picnic is no picnic!

I need some insight in figuring out what type of workplace culture I’ve joined… Jennifer Glueck Bezoza responds: “The culture of your new employer certainly does sound stiff and siloed. In addition, it sounds as if the relationships among colleagues are fairly superficial and transactional in nature. It’s obvious from your inquiry… ”

Part I: Trouble brewing working with a colleague

One of my colleagues confided in me that they are having difficulty working with another colleague. How should I handle this situation? Jennifer Glueck Bezoza responds: “First things first… It’s a tribute to you and your trustworthiness that your colleague felt comfortable sharing his or her difficulty working with another colleague. Here a few guidelines… ”

Frustrated by a Flirt / Female point of view

When a female boss flirts in the presence of male subordinates, would it be considered professional? Jennifer Glueck Bezoza responds ” You ask whether it is acceptable and professional for a female boss to flirt. The short answer is no. Sexual gestures and behavior are simply not appropriate in the workplace. ”

Am I acting strangely due to menopause?

A coworker told me that it looks that I am going through menopause and that was the cause that I was acting so strange because I was not like that before… Jennifer Glueck Bezoza responds: “I found your co-worker’s assertion towards you “that it looks like you are going through menopause,” inappropriate and offensive. It seems to diminish the possibility that your feelings and experience were completely natural and unrelated to your female hormones.”

Director of surgical department is a backstabber

I recently found out that the director of my department has stabbed me in the back. I work in a small surgical hospital. Jennifer Glueck Bezoza responds: ” It certainly appears that your manager could have used better judgment when she disclosed to the lead nurse and main doctor that you had warned her — after you received a warning — that she should “watch her back with them.””

Helping a friend trapped in a dead-end position, got me in hot water

The employee confided in me and asked if I would give his resume to my wife, who heads a large organization in another (non-competing) company. Arnie Herz and Jennifer Glueck Bezoza responded to this dilemma.

Trumped by a very competent brown-noser

I’ve seen lots of complaints about the co-worker who is the ‘incompetent’ brown-noser. My dilemma is about the ‘very competent’ brown-noser. What do you do about him? Jennifer Glueck Bezoza responds: “I understand your frustration that the brown-noser’s behavior has seemed to go unnoticed by leadership. It shouldn’t be that the humble, team players, such as yourself, get trumped by the individual who puts others down and raises himself up at every opportunity…”

Managing Up to protect your turf…

I feel the department isn’t big enough for the 3 of us.. and I don’t know how to hold onto my little bit of the turf without being squeezed from both ends. Jennifer Glueck Bezoza responds: “While you think you will be demoted, my sense of the situation is that Barbara, not you, will be demoted…”

Former brown-noser seeks to be trusted

When I first joined, I was a bit insecure and I sort of brown nosed one of the senior guys (he is currently partner). Jennifer Glueck Bezoza responds: “It’s hard to discern from your letter the exact nature of your “brown nosing” of the CEO’s right hand man. Were you overly flattery to this individual?”