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"Fight or Flight"
I
am tired of being the fall guy, the one who everyone comes to for help,
advice, information and assistance, but when it comes to office small
talk and socializing, I am excluded. I am also tired of my "whimpy"
response to others' slurs and less than flattering comments that come
my direction and I let go by! I need tips on how to defend myself -
I am over 50 and I am still a "chicken", a "wimp"
when it comes to defending myself at the time the "slights"
happen. I brood for weeks and build up a wall of anger, but I never
let the person know how I feel and so everyone has keyed in on the fact
that I am a pushover and they can be as covertly mean and unkind to
me as they want, and then ask for a favor or information a day later,
and I will accommodate. In fact, a co-worker once described me as "so
accommodating". It burns me up! I don't want to be accommodating,
I want to learn how to defend myself. But I need dialogue (the right
words to say) more so than advice. I have, by the way, a Masters in
Counseling and a BA in Social Work, and all my psychology studies has
not helped with this problem, perhaps because I am just a "wimp"and
"coward" at heart! Fall Guy Dear Fall Guy, I really feel
for you. To feel disposable and excluded by the people you work with
is pretty devastating. If you feel like this often I strongly urge you
to seek professional counselling. You have some issues that need to
be dealt with.
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