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"Fight or Flight"
am tired of being the fall guy, the one who everyone comes to for help,
advice, information and assistance, but when it comes to office small
talk and socializing, I am excluded. I am also tired of my "whimpy"
response to others' slurs and less than flattering comments that come
my direction and I let go by! I need tips on how to defend myself -
I am over 50 and I am still a "chicken", a "wimp"
when it comes to defending myself at the time the "slights"
happen. I brood for weeks and build up a wall of anger, but I never
let the person know how I feel and so everyone has keyed in on the fact
that I am a pushover and they can be as covertly mean and unkind to
me as they want, and then ask for a favor or information a day later,
and I will accommodate. In fact, a co-worker once described me as "so
accommodating". It burns me up! I don't want to be accommodating,
I want to learn how to defend myself. But I need dialogue (the right
words to say) more so than advice. I have, by the way, a Masters in
Counseling and a BA in Social Work, and all my psychology studies has
not helped with this problem, perhaps because I am just a "wimp"and
"coward" at heart!
Dear Fall Guy,
I really feel
for you. To feel disposable and excluded by the people you work with
is pretty devastating. If you feel like this often I strongly urge you
to seek professional counselling. You have some issues that need to
be dealt with.
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