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Franke James is Editor/Founder of Office-Politics.com and Inventor of the Office-Politics® Game.
Peter R. Garber has worked as an HR professional for over 25 years and is the author of many business books including: Winning the Rat Race at Work and 100 Ways to Get on the Wrong Side of your Boss.
Dina Beach Lynch, is an Ombudsman, Author and former attorney. An award-winning mediator, Dina served as the Corporate Ombudsman for the 7th largest bank in the US helping over 48,000 employees to resolve workplace issues.
Dr. Rick Brandon is CEO of Brandon Partners. He has consulted and trained tens of thousands at corporations worldwide, including Fortune 500 companies across a variety of industries.
Dr. Marty Seldman is one of America's most experienced executive coaches. His 35-year career includes expertise in executive coaching, group dynamics, cross-cultural studies, clinical psychology, and training.
Arnie Herz, is a lawyer, mediator, speaker, author and consultant nationally recognized for his practical and inspired approach to conflict resolution and client counseling.
Dr. John Burton LL.B. M.B.A. M.Div. Ph.D. is an ethicist, mediator, lawyer and theologian. John is currently located in Prince Rupert, B.C., Canada, working with Canada's aboriginal communities.
This man is educated, has every insurance designation imaginable, yet has NO idea how to treat people... I may not be as book smart as this man, but would make a far better manager.
I work for a small insurance company. Average age of employee
is probably late 40's to early 50's. I am a 34 year old single male.
This man is educated, has every insurance designation imaginable,
yet has NO idea how to treat people.
He called me into his office and proceeded to "apologize" to me in his own way, although the words "I am sorry" never came out of his mouth. Can you say "Overreacted!" I may not be as book smart as this man, but would make a far better manager. Why? I know how to treat people with respect, make them feel comfortable, and communicate. Please advise. Thank you.
We weren't sure what exactly you wanted advice on but we can give you feedback and maybe a little caution for the future. In terms of how you handled this situation we give you high marks. Even though you were upset and felt that his reaction was not fair you were firm and not emotional in your response. We felt that you used very good vocabulary to state your needs, give context and be respectful.
What about the future? Two concerns emerge from your letter. One, you
are still upset and your self-talk about the manager is quite negative.
This is not hurting you immediately but if you remain too frustrated
it may only be a matter of time until you go beyond firm and respond
from your limbic system (cave man brain) rather than your forebrain.
At that point you may say or e-mail something you will regret.
Good luck. Thanks for writing to Office-Politics.
Rick Brandon, Ph.D. and Marty Seldman, Ph.D., Co-authors
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