My boss is peeved because I hardly ever show up at company functions.

February 2005, Article 6

Dear Office-Politics,

My boss is peeved because I hardly ever show up at company functions or get-togethers. Its true... I avoid them like the plague. I simply do not think it's fun having to socialize with people I've already spent most of my waking hours with! And then some more on these occasions.

I've made some of them but apparently, I've turned down more than I've accepted. They are yet organizing another one, and I've been told to show up 'or else'. What do I do?

Party-Pooper

Dear Party-Pooper,

Go! You don't work in a vacuum, you need other people. You are only hurting your present and future career by being removed and aloof in not socializing (clearly your Boss sees it that way or he/she would not have warned you!).

Your coworkers are only human -- some will have in the back of their minds that you don't like them, or you think you are superior to them, therefore you won't take part in social events. It sends a very negative message. If you want to be an integral part of the corporate culture (and you have any aspirations to aim higher) you MUST take part in social events, and use them constructively. Why not go to the next function with the express purpose of introducing yourself to many different people -- ideally one person in each department -- and talk to them with genuine curiosity about what they do, and who they are?

And remember -- you may have on a party dress and heels, but don't be under any illusions... you're still 'at work'. Make the most of each event, and you may amaze yourself what doors open up for you.

Thanks for writing to Office-Politics.

Franke James
Creator, The Office-Politics Game