The Office-Politics Advisers:
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Please tell me how to answer the following [rude] questions... July 2005 Dear Office-Politics, Please tell me how to answer the following questions: Why Don't
You Have Kids? How
do I answer when asked why I don't have children? I am a woman who does
not want to go into details... How
Come You are an Assistant? I took a new job as an assistant, instead
of a position with more authority because I want to spend time on hobbies
and I am able to do this now. How do I answer this question? I don't
want to tell strangers my dreams.....they might get jealous or resentful
because they don't have the time to do this because of their extra job
responsibilities (they get paid a lot more, but people often get resentful:
the grass is always greener on the other side). Sincerely, Marching-to-my-own-drum Dear Marching-to-my-own-drum, Zingers can be self-deprecating like this: 'Why don't you have
kids?' 'Pollution. I wouldn't want to contaminate the
gene pool any further.' You are the best judge as to how far you want to go with humor, but no doubt you will shock some people and hopefully make them realize how inconsiderate they are to be prying. Regarding the 'assistant' question, I ran into that scenario recently. I was working with a mid-size multinational client. A new 'hire' was telling me about himself and his background. He used to work at a much larger company, and have more a Senior role with heavy responsibilities. But this fellow's priorities had shifted. So he moved to my client's company where he was front line, customer service. He was having a ball -- because he didn't have to take his job home with him, and work 24/7. Much less stress. For the first time in his life he was able to explore other passions -- like amateur theatre and fitness. I totally understood where he was coming from, and that he had made the right decision for himself. I was very impressed with him. He is redefining what 'success' is to him. He is living his life the way he wants to. So how should you answer 'How Come You are an Assistant?' I would say something like, "I've worn many hats in my life. But at this point in my life, this job just suits me to tee. I enjoy it -- and I don't ever lose sleep over it." The point you want to make is that you are happy and content. And isn't it kind of you to ask about me... In summary, I'd say that most people are more concerned about themselves, and what's going on in their lives, than anything you are doing in your life. Even though they're asking questions, at the end of the day, life revolves around them, not you. So relax. Take it all with a grain of salt. It sounds like you know the path you want to take. Congrats! Thanks for writing to Office-Politics. Franke Franke James, MFA Feedback from Marching-to-my-own-drum
The Ethics Letters that appears as a feature of this Website is an educational and discussion oriented column designed to help the reader better understand ethical issues. The matters discussed in the letter are reviewed in a summary/abbreviated way and are only meant to foster thinking on the part of the reader. If a person decides to adopt or implement suggestions, they do so at their own risk. No representation or warranty is provided in relation to suggestions or the contents of the letter. Neither the authors of the letter, Franke James, John W. Burton, or the owners of this Website accept any liability whatsoever for any opinions expressed in the letter or for errors and omissions. Submission of letters to the Office-Politics Forum grants the Publisher, Nerdheaven Ltd. the right to reproduce, republish, repurpose and excerpt the submission in any and all other media, without compensation or contacting the author. Copyright Nerdheaven Ltd. 2002-2005
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