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One day when we were alone my Boss tried to grab me...

April 2005, Article 6

Dear Office-Politics,

I joined an engineering firm three years back after a family crisis. There are 6 people in my department. My immediate boss knows my family problems and was my mentor and guide when I joined. One day when we were alone he tried to grab me and I slapped him and left. I didn't have any friends outside the office in this new country, so I confided  in my colleague who was the only other woman in my dept. That's when she told me he has been flirting with her for a long time, knowing she is married, but that she too has began to like him.

However she was mad that he behaved like that with me and we both confronted him. He apologized and said he was just being friendly with me. She broke up with him and thanked me, saying she was about to cheat on her husband and my confiding in her saved her.

Now the real problem started. Though my boss apologized he started yelling at me in the office for small things, complaining I am hiding information from him, I am trying to bypass him and get a promotion. The constant fighting went to the ears of my CEO and he suspended my Boss for misbehavior. The office was OK after that for a some time.

Now my boss is playing all sorts of games behind me and the lady and another guy are also against me now. She is back with my boss now and picks a fight with me at every possible opportunity.

I want to quit this job but Management has a lot of faith in me. They have doubled my salary in one year. I do need this job. I am in UAE and this country VISA rules are very strict. I cannot break my contract. But I don't know how to behave in the office. Out of six people including me, three of them don't even talk to me or talk to me only to snub. I feel left out, and depressed, and it's affecting my work. Please advise. Should I take risk and quit my job? How should I handle this?

Sincerely,

Mistreated

Dear Mistreated,

It sounds like a difficult situation and it is made more difficult by the fact that you are in the UAE, where you have visa requirements and a work contract to be concerned with.

However, it sounds like you have a CEO who takes this issue seriously.  The fact that he suspended your boss for his sexual harassment indicates that the CEO is aware that he or she needs to ensure that employees act appropriately.  Therefore I would approach him or her before taking any other steps.  It may be that a program to raise the awareness of employees about harassment issues can be put in place.  That should help to address the poor treatment that you are receiving from other employees as well. 

If the CEO is not responsive to your concerns then I think you can feel assured that you have done everything possible to salvage this working relationship.  If the situation remains as it is, my advice would be to leave the job, despite the good pay.  It is not worth the risks to your physical and mental health to stay in a position where you are feeling so isolated and harassed.

I cannot really comment on the difficulties of breaking your work contract.  The contract itself may prescribe penalties for early termination, or you may be better off to consult a lawyer and explore your options.  It seems unlikely that there would be no provision for ending the contract early, otherwise it amounts to a contract for indentured servitude, which in common law jurisdictions at least is illegal as being contrary to public policy. 

Best of luck with sorting this one out. Thanks for writing to Office-Politics.

Dr. John Burton

Dr. John Burton LL.B. M.B.A. M.Div. Ph.D. is an ethicist, mediator, lawyer and theologian whose passion is helping people and organizations create better relationships and stronger communities by being clear, committed and collaborative in their approach to ethics and conflict. John is currently located in Prince Rupert, B.C., Canada, working with Canada's aboriginal communities.