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Dr. John Burton LL.B. M.B.A. M.Div. Ph.D. is an ethicist, mediator, lawyer and theologian. John is currently located in Prince Rupert, B.C., Canada, working with Canada's aboriginal communities.

My immediate boss is insanely jealous of me and has tried to trip me up quite a few times...

Dr. John Burton LL.B. M.B.A. M.Div. Ph.D. responds, "Ask if there is a way that the two of you can avoid such an embarrassing situation as you mention, yet still give her the scope to provide you with direction and feedback when she feels it is genuinely needed"

April 2006

Dear Office-Politics,

My immediate boss is insanely jealous of me and has tried to trip me up quite a few times. Most recently, she embarrassed me in front of a meeting of 20-30 people. Because of this, I have thought of leaving many times. However, I am hesitant to leave because my CEO and other key managers think highly of me and have praised my work publicly a few times. I suppose this is the source of my immediate boss' rancour.

Honestly, I have never thought of usurping her position and am quite happy to beaver away quietly. However, her politicking is causing me much distress. I do not know what to do about it and am worried that her back-stabbing will suceed eventually. There is no point complaining to anyone in my office about her because she is "everyman's friend", always smiling, laughing, friendly and kind. No one would believe me if I told them what she is doing to me. I cannot switch to another department because my work is quite specialized. Can you please help?

Thank you,

Working for a Jealous Boss

Dear Working for a Jealous Boss,

It sounds like you are indeed in a difficult situation. When you are the only one who is aware of the ill treatment that you have been subjected to it is hard to recruit others to help.

The first thing I suggest is to make a private appointment with your boss and ask her for help in building a better working relationship. You might start by talking about your aspirations and make it clear to her that you are quite happy doing what you are doing and are not interested in moving into a more senior position, such as hers. I would suggest that you then tell her what your perceptions are about her behavior, but be prepared to hear her perceptions as well. Ask if there is a way that the two of you can avoid such an embarrassing situation as you mention, yet still give her the scope to provide you with direction and feedback when she feels it is genuinely needed. It is unfortunate, but often employees have to help their supervisors to be good managers, otherwise the employee suffers the consequences. Good luck in dealing with this situation, Dr. John Burton

Thanks for writing to Office-Politics.

Regards,

Dr. John Burton

Dr. John Burton LL.B. M.B.A. M.Div. Ph.D. is an ethicist, mediator, lawyer and theologian whose passion is helping people and organizations create better relationships and stronger communities by being clear, committed and collaborative in their approach to ethics and conflict. John is currently located in Prince Rupert, B.C., Canada, working with Canada's aboriginal communities.

Feedback from Working for Jealous Boss

Thanks for your reply. I'll give it a shot, but first I need to muster up the courage to talk to her. Will keep you posted.