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A new employee joined our team... The problem is, she's quite chatty! In fact, she could probably fill up 2 solid hours without taking a breath.

July 2005

Dear Office-Politics,

A new employee recently joined our team. I get along well with her and the odd time we'll socialize outside of the office. The problem is, she's quite chatty! In fact, she could probably fill up two solid hours without taking a breath...

I certainly don't mind spending a few minutes chatting with coworkers during the day but, after a certain point, I need to work! Not only do I have piles of work to do, but I also don't want to portray that kind of work ethic. Our boss does not work in our office, so she is not aware of what goes on day-to-day. How can I nicely cut off the conversation at an appropriate time without looking curt or rude?

No Chatty-Cathy

Dear No Chatty-Cathy,

You are accountable for whether you are curt or rude, not for whether someone else thinks you are.

Every new employee needs to spend more time listening than talking – to learn not only the explicit demands a position, but the implicit corporate culture: “how we do things around here.” With your work ethic, you can be a good role model to your new associate. Demonstrate how to focus on what’s appropriate in each moment – on work: when it’s time for work, on friendship: when it’s break time. Be consistent and patient, like water on stone; have confidence in the new person’s ability to get the idea.

And if she doesn’t, stay true to your employer – and to your values. Thanks for writing to Office-Politics.

Betsy Raskin Gullickson
Co-author, On the High Wire: How To Survive Being Promoted
Consultant / Executive Coach