Franke James is Editor/Founder of Office-Politics.com and Inventor of the Office-Politics® Game.

Peter R. Garber has worked as an HR professional for over 25 years and is the author of many business books including: Winning the Rat Race at Work and 100 Ways to Get on the Wrong Side of your Boss.

Dina Beach Lynch, is an Ombudsman, Author and former attorney. An award-winning mediator, Dina served as the Corporate Ombudsman for the 7th largest bank in the US helping over 48,000 employees to resolve workplace issues.

Dr. Rick Brandon is CEO of Brandon Partners. He has consulted and trained tens of thousands at corporations worldwide, including Fortune 500 companies across a variety of industries.

Dr. Marty Seldman is one of America's most experienced executive coaches. His 35-year career includes expertise in executive coaching, group dynamics, cross-cultural studies, clinical psychology, and training.

Arnie Herz, is a lawyer, mediator, speaker, author and consultant nationally recognized for his practical and inspired approach to conflict resolution and client counseling.

Dr. John Burton LL.B. M.B.A. M.Div. Ph.D. is an ethicist, mediator, lawyer and theologian. John is currently located in Prince Rupert, B.C., Canada, working with Canada's aboriginal communities.

Since the divorce, I really don't care... I can be in the top 5 by doing a half-ass job and I'll still get the same raise.

September 2005

Dear Office-Politics,

My job is very stressful and I am on the phone a lot dealing with insurance claims. I get extremely frustrated when people give me attitude and/or try to make my job harder. They have the idea that this is their time to vent on me when I have nothing to do with the situation,
 
I am going through an extremely stressful divorce. My supervisor is aware of my situation and tries to be supportive. She knows that I can be short and rude but does not want this to become a habit.  Whether I do A+ job  or a C+ job, I will still get the same raise every year.  We don't fire for incompetance, tardiness, or filing unsupported harassment complaints, etc.  Management would be aware of the situation, but I won't be let go. Therefore, there are no "real" consequences.
 
If I were my old self, I would have made a conscious effort. Since the divorce, I really don't care about this issue or any other. I have always been one of the top performers since I've started. I can be in the top 5 by doing a half-ass job and I'll still get the same raise. Others will get the same raise  for doing less or no work at all. My supervisor wants to know what she can do to help me, but I don't know if anything can be done. I am frustrated because I want to try to help and support her. However, my work priorities have taken a back seat to my personal problems. I am already seeing a therapist for the life issues. What does one do in this situation?  

Dazed and Divorced

Dear Dazed and Divorced,

I sympathize with you but you need to move on. Perhaps I am going to tell you what none of your friends, family or coworkers are telling you...

Wake up! You are very fortunate. Yes, you are going through a tough personal time (divorce) but you have a good job. Maybe it's not the right fit for you right now (insurance claims equal high stress), but you have a secure job -- you have a paycheck.

This may be hard advice to hear but: Quit feeling sorry for yourself. Look how lucky you are... I have not even met you and I can see that you write well, you express yourself well. You are an intelligent person with many assets and skills. You have a roof over your head and food on the table. Count your blessings. You live in a peaceful country. You are healthy (I assume because you didn't say otherwise.)

Look to the future. You are the Master of your life. Imagine the ideal future for you. Ask yourself some questions, "What do I want out of my life? What am I best at? When do I feel happiest? How can I make the biggest contribution to society?"

The job you are in right now does not sound like a good fit (but you are lucky to have a sympathetic supervisor). Why not focus on finding another job that uses your talents and imagination to the fullest? What do you have to lose?

Let me know how things work out. Thanks for writing to Office-Politics.

Regards,

Franke

Franke James, MFA
Creator, The Office-Politics Game