"Fight or Flight II"

Dr. John:

You asked "Do any of my readers have a suggestion for Unemployed or others in their position, that would address the issue of an inept co-worker who seems to be protected by the boss?"

I was a Senior Manager for a man who owned several 'outlets', each one run by a Senior Manager and management team. Things became quite difficult when he brought his son into the business and promoted him quickly, well ahead of the son's abilities or merit.

When the next logical step was to make his son a Senior Manager, the owner became quite difficult to work for, and seemed to 'have it in for' his Senior's. Actions which once were accepted had now become 'performance problems', reasonable explanations and analysis for budget variances could no longer be offered. Expectations rose to unrealistic levels.

When he turned on me for the rumours he had heard from dissatisfied employees, he tried to force a demotion on me. Nothing in my record merited it. I decided to leave, but take some of his money with him, so I went to a labour lawyer. The owner was stunned by the lawyer's letter, and we came to terms on a financial settlement. His son, of course, got my job.

Now, years later, I can say that I was quite fortunate, but it was difficult for a long, long time. I was unemployed for about a year, and underemployed for two more years after that. I was bitter at the way I had left, after nine years of service, and I would have liked nothing better than to 'get back' somehow, at the father OR the son.

My only advice is recognize that you are hurt, and that you must let time do the healing. The inept, protected co-worker is beyond your control, as is the boss who does the protecting. Perhaps you could console yourself into thinking that the boss is only making things difficult for him/herself sometime into the future, and that the inept worker will some day 'get what's coming to them'. Life doesn't work so neatly, and sometimes the bad guys win. Don't dwell on them. They are past. You have to back away and let time heal.

Look forward, be optimistic, keep yourself busy, and find new things to occupy your hands, your time, and your mind.

Sign me,
Anonymous

Anonymous,

The one thing that I would urge anyone else who finds themselves in a similar situation to do is to seek counselling. Outplacement specialists, or therapists can help us to work through the pain you describe more quickly.

Time does heal, but a little help can shorten the time of healing.

Thanks for writing.

Dr. John

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