"Problems with Number Two"

I have two people above me here. One is brash and honest, and the top banana here. The other, #2, I just discovered is a complete hypocritical self-serving backstabber. This is what is happening: I am the supervisor (you could say I'm #3), and my wife, works here too. The brash one just told me that the hypocrite wants to get rid of my wife (and not for a good reason). He's always going on about teamwork, honesty, and support.

Now I am shaking, literally. I just went outside, because I was about to grab this guy and put him thru the wall. What the hell am I supposed to do?

My wife does more around here than the rest of us. She is one of those high-energy, can't not be doing something at all times types. And she's very bright. The hypocrit, me thinks, is realizing her contributions are far over-shadowing his own. It's basically a power struggle , I think.

Thanks!

Cooling Off

Dear Cooling Off,

The first thing to realize here is just how emotionally charged this situation has become. You need to congratulate yourself that you had the wisdom to go outside and cool down, rather than risk a really nasty confrontation.

When conflict gets to this level it can be difficult to deal with it directly. I would suggest you contact someone trained in conflict resolution or mediation to sit down with the four of you and talk about your working relationship.

If, as you say, Number Two is hypocritical and attempting to force your wife out of the firm, it is unlikely that you can deal with the situation by approaching him/her directly. You need a neutral third party to establish some ground rules for dialogue and to impose a process on the discussion.

If you don't know anyone who does this sort of conflict resolution you can ask your lawyer for a referral. Every lawyer should know someone skilled at mediation, or be able to find such a person for you.

A final thought. Why did Number One tell you that Number Two was out to get your wife fired? It sounds like there are some peculiar dynamics at work here.

Good luck with the situation.

Dr. John

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