"Too Fast"

I've worked for an IT company for the past three years and done well to advance and be a responsible part of the team. Recently my department hired a woman that has shared that she was fired from her last job for sexual harrassment, and now has received intense one on one training (of which the rest of us never were given the opportunity) and is now my senior, with only 4 months of being on the job. Nothing was mentioned by my manager about this, and the rumor mill is buzzing. My responsibilities have not changed, so I know my security with the company is not an issue. How do I deal with this without feeling that I'm a loser in my own eyes? Telling anyone about her past is really tempting, however something I would never do. Thanks.

Tempted

Dear Tempted,

Maybe Dr. John just has a naughty turn of mind today, but when you refer to someone who has a record of sexually inappropriate behaviour receiving "intense one on one training" that resulted in her rapid advancement, I wonder if you are accusing her of getting ahead by going to bed. If so, then her behaviour is regrettable, but difficult for you to deal with.

Such sexual misconduct is difficult to prove and easily denied.

The approach that I would recommend, whatever the reason for her rapid advance, is that you seek some clarity for yourself about the criteria for advancement in this firm and how they apply to you. I would not suggest that you make any references to this individual, and I certainly commend you for resisting the temptation to try to sabotage her position by leaking information about her past.

If there has been something inappropriate about this woman's advancement, it really isn't your position to raise the matter. What you need to focus on is insuring that you are fairly treated and that your years of hard work are appropriately recognized. You are entitled to demand clarity from your employer about how that will happen.

Thanks for writing.

Dr. John

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