"The Blame Game"

I have worked in many companies seeing the same problems. Mostly where I work, I always encounter homosexual people. There is always a small percentage everywhere. They all have the same problem of accusing me for their problems and I am just tired of it. I know they are really blaming themselves, and are angry at themselves, but they always tell on me when I stand up for myself. I always have to talk to a manager or someone higher up for it.

I have a decent relationship with my co-workers, some really great, some decent with people that suffered from verbal abuse, or a divorce from their parents before, or any family problems they had. I am not the nicest, but I never start trouble with others. I just wanted to know, how do I deal/cope with this problem without getting into a talk with the higher up people because of the verbal abuse I get from their anger with themselves? I get blame, I get verbally abusive language, and everything I don't want to deal with. Thanks

Oppressed

Dear Oppressed,

My mother often said, "the faults we see in others are those we find in ourselves." I detect that at work here.

You complain that homosexuals are everywhere and that they all have the same problem, accusing you of their problems. Well that is exactly what you are doing, accusing them of your problems.

I suggest that you take a look at yourself and your own complicity in the difficulties you encounter. You need to develop a deeper sense of self awareness and to learn how you are really perceived by others.

I would suggest some counselling to take a more intensive look at these issues.

I am sure you are at heart a decent person, but it takes effort to learn how to get along with others. At the moment, you are simply blaming them for the difficulties you encounter.

Thanks for writing.

Dr. John

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