"The Full Monty"

My boss likes to straighten out his shirt a lot. He is always tucking it in. It just seems inappropriate in meetings, in front of clients, etc. Sometimes he unzips his pants for the full tuck! Since my boss and I are pretty open with each other, office staff want me to make him aware.

Tucker Employee

Dear Tucker Employee,

You are confronted with one of the more delicate problems of human relations, how to deliver unpleasant news to someone about a personal habit. This calls for some careful judgment on your part. First, is your relationship good enough, open enough to survive this. Think about whether your boss is a sensitive, thin skinned person. Does he take offense easily? Does he hold grudges? Does he take revenge if he feels slighted? If any of these possibilities exist, you need to be very careful. Perhaps it is best to leave him to his own fate.

Lyndon Johnson, when he was President of the United States, was both famously thin skinned and famously crude. He sometimes conducted business while seated on the toilet, insisting that whoever he was talking to accompany him into the bathroom. I would not recommend telling a Lyndon Johnson that he is offensive when he tucks in his shirt.

It sounds, however, as if you enjoy a good relationship with your boss and so it may be quite helpful to him to point out what is very likely an unconscious behaviour. A little light humour will help ease the discomfort of the message. Be sure that you are alone and that there is nothing stressful happening at the time you speak to him. And be as kind as you would be when telling your own child that picking her nose in public is not considered polite.

Good luck with this. He should thank you for your honesty and concern.

Dr. John

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