"Fears for Tears"

I have a boss that totally loses it so bad over next to nothing. I have seen this 52 year old man break down and sob in front of me. He recently had a heart attack (mild). I ignore him when this happens, but it is disturbing (I am also a man). That is what makes this so unreal because men at work should not be crying in front of other men when minor things go wrong. Do you think this individual is mentally disturbed?

Man at Work

Dear Man at Work,

It sounds like your boss is having real trouble handling stress and emotions. While I don't agree that men should never cry at work, or anywhere else, what you describe is someone who is damaging his own health because of his inability to handle emotions appropriately.

You boss needs some help. If your relationship is such that you can approach him yourself, do so. Be gentle and supportive. Make sure you do it in private, in a time of low stress. Just state your observations. "I notice that you cried for five minutes when the sales results were published." or "I saw you screaming at the secretary when she broke the lead in her pencil." Then make a statement such as, "there is support available from counsellors to help you deal with these issues."

If you don't have the type of relationship with him/her that would allow for that type of discussion then I suggest you contact your HR department, or your boss's boss. Let them know that you are concerned about your boss's health and describe the behaviours that concern you.

This sounds like a situation that needs to be addressed and you are to be commended for being concerned about your boss.

Thanks for writing.

Dr. John

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