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Dear Office Politics,<\/p>\n
I work as a Graphic Designer and while I love my job, I hate my work environment.<\/p>\n
I occupy a cubicle at the back of a large area and my problem is the people all the way on the other side of the room. They scream constantly and tend to get very personal, they are always yelling my name out and trying to involve me in conversations that have nothing to do with me. <\/p>\n
My job involves a lot of focus so I need a professional atmosphere. It’s a mother\/daughter team and you hear conversations from what’s for dinner to who they don’t like. I complained once and the person told them everything that I said and it created a lot of drama and stress for me. I’m at the end of my rope so I need advice on how to handle this very delicate but frustrating situation.<\/p>\n
Thank You<\/p>\n
End-of-her-rope<\/p>\n
OFFICE-POLITICS ADVISER ERIKA ANDERSEN<\/strong> Dear End-of-her-rope,<\/p>\n I feel your pain! I was just sitting in a coffee shop today, working on my computer, and there were two people in the corner yukking it up and talking really loud. It was frustrating and hard to concentrate \u2014 and I wasn\u2019t even at work!<\/p>\n So, what to do? <\/strong> First, let\u2019s talk about the difference between complaints and requests.<\/p>\n A complaint is a negative description of someone else\u2019s behavior, and the negative impact it has \u2013 often exaggerated for effect. (\u201cYou are so inconsiderate by leaving dirty dishes in the sink all the time .\u201d) <\/em><\/p>\n A request is a neutral request to change a behavior, often including a rationale for change; that is, why you\u2019re making the request. (\u201cCould you please wash your dishes? It seems fair to me that we each clean up after ourselves. \u201d)<\/em><\/p>\n Complaints generally create resistance, defensiveness, ill feeling. Requests, on the other hand, often result in change \u2013 especially when they\u2019re combined with an \u201coffer.\u201d (I\u2019ll explain that in a minute.)<\/p>\n It sounds as though you haven\u2019t actually requested that these folks behave differently \u2013 you\u2019ve simply complained to a third party… which never works well. It\u2019s usually even less effective than complaining directly to the person involved.<\/p>\n Here\u2019s what I suggest.<\/strong> And if you combine it with an offer to do something for them, they\u2019ll be even more likely to fulfill your request. (That\u2019s where the \u201coffer\u201d part comes in.) What\u2019s something you might be doing that\u2019s bugging them, that you could offer to do differently? Once you think of it, here\u2019s how the request\/offer might sound: \u201cHi, Mom and Daughter such-and-such. I\u2019d like to request something of you: could you talk more quietly when you\u2019re at work? When you talk and laugh loudly, I have a hard time concentrating. Now, in return, I know that when I ______, you guys don\u2019t like it very much. So, how about a trade \u2013 I\u2019ll stop doing ___ if you talk more softly.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n In my experience, when you approach people in a respectful, neutral way like this, it\u2019s unlikely to make the situation worse. In fact, I suspect it will improve. And if it does improve, remember to acknowledge and thank them for complying with your request… that will make it more likely they\u2019ll continue to do it.<\/p>\n Let us know how it goes. Thanks for writing to OfficePolitics.com.<\/p>\n Warmly,<\/p>\n Erika Andersen, Author<\/p>\n Erika Andersen<\/a> is the author of BEING STRATEGIC<\/a> (May 2009). Talk of strategy abounds in business — but moving from thinking strategically to acting strategically is an enormous leap. BEING STRATEGIC is a roadmap for consistently making choices that best move you toward your desired future. What’s more, it explains why being strategic is worth the time and effort required, what’s involved, and how to do it. The book explains the core skills and practices needed at each point of being strategic and provides simple models, real-life examples and self-directed activities for learning and applying them.<\/em><\/p>\n
\n![\"erika](\"https:\/\/www.officepolitics.com\/images\/andersen.jpg\")
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\nThink about how you\u2019d phrase a request to these folks to change their behavior \u2013 be neutral, and focus purely on describing the behavior you\u2019d like to see. How about something like, \u201cI\u2019d like to ask you to talk more quietly when you\u2019re at work. When you talk and laugh loudly, I have a hard time concentrating.\u201d<\/em> It might be a little embarrassing to say (and to hear), but it will work a heck of a lot better than complaining.<\/p>\n![\"being](\"https:\/\/www.officepolitics.com\/images\/being_strategic_100.gif\")
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