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![\"franke](\"https:\/\/www.officepolitics.com\/images\/james.jpg\")
<\/p>\nDear No-Office-Politician,<\/p>\n
Your situation sounds like the stuff of grade school playgrounds, but it’s all too common in the workplace. Let’s pull this problem apart and see if we can find a solution…<\/p>\n
First off, it appears that you care what these gossiping ladies think of you because you see them as power-brokers. Your letter indicates that they are the key to good favour with the department head, and other powerful people in your company. So, to be ‘out-of-favour’ with them could cause you to be overlooked for a promotion, or worse — demoted or fired. Your motivation to lunch with them seems fueled by your ambition and fear, and not genuine friendship. It doesn’t sound very pleasant does it? It also doesn’t sound realistic. Incompetent people do get promoted thanks to influence, but you have a much better chance of doing ‘well at work’, if you do your ‘job well’.<\/p>\n
Realize that you can’t change these ladies behavior, but you can make some clear decisions on what kind of employee you will be, and career you want to have.<\/p>\n
Let’s imagine a workplace where your productivity, the excellence of your work, and your personable nature is what fuels your rise. But to get to that ‘dream’ job you need to change your focus to how you can make a positive impact within your office, your company and even your industry. (Skipping lunch to meet your Boss’ deadlines shows a good sense of responsibility and respect for deadlines so I think you’ve got a good start.)<\/p>\n
Here’s my suggestion: Draw up a list of goals for yourself that will make a difference in your work, your career and your industry. What can you do better tomorrow than you did last week? What can you learn that will make you a better and more valued employee? When you’ve got that list of goals written, ask your Boss to review it with you. I bet you’ll get some constructive feedback on your goals, and how you can move up in your career. (Ideally you’ll find a company mentor to bounce things off of.) Those gossiping ‘ladies’ can still throw a wrench into your life but at least you’ll have a more concrete action plan that you can have some control over.<\/p>\n
As for missing lunch with them, I would attend only when it’s convenient. But I wouldn’t go out of my way to join them. Seek out more positive people that can help you to grow, and make the best contribution to your company and industry.<\/p>\n
Thanks for writing to Office-Politics. Let me know if this helps.<\/p>\n
Franke<\/p>\n
Franke James, MFA
\nEditor & Founder, Office-Politics.com<\/p>\n
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