"Our holiday luncheon is at a coworker's home --
and I don't want to go."

Dear Office-Politics,

My department is having our holiday luncheon at a coworker's home who does not like me. I have tried to be professional and at least greet her in the morning, and she will not respond with even a good morning. I don't feel comfortable going to her home. Would it be wise to ask my supervisor if I can volunteer to get the phones for the remainder of the afternoon, while the department goes to their luncheon/afternoon retreat? This person has used management to work against me, and I fought back and she now dislikes me because I stood up for myself. Please advise, thank you for your time.

Party-pooper

Dear Party-pooper,

Situations like you describe are always awkward. You're dammed if you do, and you're dammed if you don't. It's hard to win in this case.

If you don't go, she can twist things around to show that she offered you hospitality, and you snubbed her.

If you do go, she may very well ignore you, or treat you rudely.

Either way, you're going to need a thick skin.

Personally I would just follow my 'gut' and do what I think is right. If you feel that you want to celebrate and don't want to be shut out -- then go, and try to ignore her attitude.

If you choose to skip the party, keep your reasons to yourself. It will only fuel the rumor mill further to tell people that you ducked the party on purpose.

Good luck and enjoy the festive season for what it is -- a time to appreciate your good friends and family.

Thanks for writing to Office-Politics.

Cheers,

Franke James
Creator, The Office-Politics Game
www.officepolitics.com

Dear Office-Politics,

Thank you again for your quick response and helpful advice!

Party-pooper

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