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Boss' wife is very jealous of me, to the point
I recently started a new position at a prominent corporation as an Executive Administrator. I like the position and the career growth that was promised by my manager. Before I took this position I worked for a corporation as a project manager and also managed an office staff. My responsibilities were high level and intellectually challenging. Even though I enjoyed that job I knew at one point I would need more growth in my career.
So, now I am here at my new job and asking myself “what have
I gotten myself into.” I report to two managers, one a vice president,
the other, his boss, an executive vice president. The executive VP lives
in another state so communication is done via phone, e-mail, and trips.
Anyways, the wife glares at me all the time, even in meetings. Our
offices are diagonal to each and we both have windows facing each other.
She has sent me harassing e-mails, almost knocked me over in the hallway
I find this entire thing crazy, I just want to scream “get a
grip,” but of course I wouldn’t do that. When she does these
things to me I don’t acknowledge them at all. I am not able to
work under these conditions, so yesterday I told
I have always been told how pretty I am and also kind. I consider myself
to be very intelligent too. Right now I am being treated as if I just
fell from a turnip truck and am not quite sure how to deal with this.
Not the Other Woman
Dear Not the Other Woman,
It sounds as if you are caught in the middle of a marital issue which has no place in an office. Let's try to take the high road on this one -- if you always behave professionally, cooperatively and competently, people will come on-side quickly and reciprocate.
In practical terms, that means: Stick to your job and ignore any emails or conversations that do not concern your work. Keep your personal life private and expect others you work with to do the same. Above all, do not get involved in office gossip - don't listen to it and if you hear any, don't repeat it. This woman has serious self esteem problems which will endanger her marriage and her job. It may take some time to earn the respect of your colleagues but it will be worth it in the long run. Be courteous and polite to this woman and treat her like any other person in the office rather than as the wife of your boss.
You mention that you have spoken to the Executive VP to whom you also
report. Even though you are anxiously waiting to hear how the Exec VP
responds, you did well to bring this situation to the attention of senior
management. It is affecting not only you but others in the workplace
as well and management has a right to know about it and a responsibility
to address it.
and Dr. John Burton
Follow-up reply from Not
the Other Woman:
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