What is OfficePolitics.com? Real People. Real Problems. Expert Advice.
Franke James is Editor/Founder of Office-Politics.com and Inventor of the Office-Politics® Game. Peter R. Garber has worked as an HR professional for over 25 years and is the author of many business books including: Winning the Rat Race at Work and 100 Ways to Get on the Wrong Side of your Boss. Dina Beach Lynch, is an Ombudsman, Author and former attorney. An award-winning mediator, Dina served as the Corporate Ombudsman for the 7th largest bank in the US helping over 48,000 employees to resolve workplace issues. Dr. Rick Brandon is CEO of Brandon Partners. He has consulted and trained tens of thousands at corporations worldwide, including Fortune 500 companies across a variety of industries. Dr. Marty Seldman is one of America's most experienced executive coaches. His 35-year career includes expertise in executive coaching, group dynamics, cross-cultural studies, clinical psychology, and training. Arnie Herz, is a lawyer, mediator, speaker, author and consultant nationally recognized for his practical and inspired approach to conflict resolution and client counseling. Dr. John Burton LL.B. M.B.A. M.Div. Ph.D. is an ethicist, mediator, lawyer and theologian. John is currently located in Prince Rupert, B.C., Canada, working with Canada's aboriginal communities. |
I work in accounting with the most hated employee in the whole company... October 2005 Dear
Office-Politics, I have put up with her for five years, and have never had a confrontation with her. I listen to her complain all the time, as well as putting other employees down for no apparent reason. I can't really assess what her real problem is, but most people think she is just unhappy with her homelife and she brings it everywhere she goes. Now mind you I have to listen to this day in and day out, while the others can just leave the room. I have mentioned this to the president before, asking if I could be separate from her. I even told him her negativity was so bad that I would work in the kitchen! I just want to get my work done. Well, as you can guess, nothing was done. So more years went by and I put up with it, not saying a word. So I came up with a plan. I asked if I could move to sales while still doing my job and learning sales. Well, of course accounting and financial stuff should not be with sales. So that didn't work. Then, I was going to learn how to be the controller (which I was very excited about!) and move right outside the controller's office until I learned the job and then move in. We currently do not have a controller, we have contracted a CPA for the time being. Well, the president thought about this (HIS IDEA) and I guess he got scared of this employee's reaction. I was not scared, I could have cared less. So now, I am staying, she is getting the nice windowed office, and I have to work with the weirdo CPA on days that he is here. Don't know when this will start, but soon I guess. I know I got what I wanted, but I feel like I never get rewarded. I feel like he was just scared of what her reaction was going to be, so he felt like he would be better off moving her into the nice office. Am I wrong to feel this way? Should I just be happy that I don't have to listen to it? I feel that this will wrong the rest of the employees as well. Does someone like her deserve this? Just because she bullies everyone she gets the nice office? Hmm...what's a girl to do. What's
a Girl to do? Dear What's
a Girl to do?, Often when we find ourselves in situations of conflict or poor working relationships we begin by looking for solutions. This seems to be the approach that you and your president have taken. Moving to sales won't work, moving to the kitchen won't work, becoming controller won't work, but finally the opportunity to move your co-worker to another office arises. When the solution is implemented it turns out that things are not that much better. Another approach, more difficult initially but more likely to produce a longer term solution that people are happy with, is to explore the underlying reason for the problem. You have given some thought to why this employee is difficult, but it appears there has been no effort to approach her and try to find out what the problem really is. Only after the reason for the disharmony between you and this woman is identified and addressed is there likely to be a solution discovered that will be satisfying. As you point out, you did get what you were asking for. The trouble is it has not resolved your own feelings of animosity toward this woman. Those feelings seem to be bubbling over to infect your relationship with the contract C.P.A. whom you call a 'weirdo' although you have not yet begun to work with him/her. If you want to be happier in the workplace you need to do something to lance the boil of resentment that you are carrying. If there is a human resources person I would suggest you talk to them. If there is an employee assistance program providing counselling and advice I urge you to contact them. In the more likely event that it is the president alone who can address these issues I suggest that you make an appointment to meet with him and tell him that you have some concerns about employee working relationships within the firm. Ask him to consider retaining a professional to work with the employees to build better working relationships. You might tell him that it has been difficult to work with this woman and you find that even though she has been moved to a separate office you don't feel that the situation has been resolved entirely. If the president is not willing to provide some leadership in this area your other option is to approach this woman directly and try to build a better relationship with her. I have counseled employees in similar situations to go out to lunch together. Often it is best to set aside all workplace issues and try to get to know the person. The idea is not necessarily to become her confidant or best friend, but to build a relationship that acknowledges her humanity and yours. Too often in workplace relationships we treat one another like impersonal cogs in a machine. Some people respond to that depersonalization by acting out angrily in an unconscious effort to elicit a human response from their co-workers. That response may be anger or fear or something else that is not appropriate to the workplace, but at least it is human. At least it makes us feel alive and not like a robot. If it feels too difficult to approach this particular fellow employee you may have to simply accept that you now work separately from her and will have to leave the matter there. I would, however, urge you to consider how you approach the C.P.A. when he starts. If you carry your attitude that he is a 'weirdo' into the relationship from the outset, you are likely to end up working next to someone with whom you do not get along again. I wish you well in dealing with these issues. Thanks for writing to Office-Politics. Dr. John Burton Dr. John
Burton LL.B. M.B.A. M.Div. Ph.D. is an ethicist, mediator, lawyer
and theologian whose passion is helping people and organizations create
better relationships and stronger communities by being clear, committed
and collaborative in their approach to ethics and conflict. John is
currently located in Prince Rupert, B.C., Canada, working with Canada's
aboriginal communities.
The Ethics Letters that appears as a feature of this Website is an educational and discussion oriented column designed to help the reader better understand ethical issues. The matters discussed in the letter are reviewed in a summary/abbreviated way and are only meant to foster thinking on the part of the reader. If a person decides to adopt or implement suggestions, they do so at their own risk. No representation or warranty is provided in relation to suggestions or the contents of the letter. Neither the authors of the letter, Franke James, John W. Burton, or the owners of this Website accept any liability whatsoever for any opinions expressed in the letter or for errors and omissions. Submission of letters to the Office-Politics Forum grants the Publisher, Nerdheaven Ltd. the right to reproduce, republish, repurpose and excerpt the submission in any and all other media, without compensation or contacting the author. Copyright Nerdheaven Ltd. 2002-2005
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