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Franke James is Editor/Founder of Office-Politics.com and Inventor of the Office-Politics® Game. Peter R. Garber has worked as an HR professional for over 25 years and is the author of many business books including: Winning the Rat Race at Work and 100 Ways to Get on the Wrong Side of your Boss. Dina Beach Lynch, is an Ombudsman, Author and former attorney. An award-winning mediator, Dina served as the Corporate Ombudsman for the 7th largest bank in the US helping over 48,000 employees to resolve workplace issues. Dr. Rick Brandon is CEO of Brandon Partners. He has consulted and trained tens of thousands at corporations worldwide, including Fortune 500 companies across a variety of industries. Dr. Marty Seldman is one of America's most experienced executive coaches. His 35-year career includes expertise in executive coaching, group dynamics, cross-cultural studies, clinical psychology, and training. Arnie Herz, is a lawyer, mediator, speaker, author and consultant nationally recognized for his practical and inspired approach to conflict resolution and client counseling. Dr. John Burton LL.B. M.B.A. M.Div. Ph.D. is an ethicist, mediator, lawyer and theologian. John is currently located in Prince Rupert, B.C., Canada, working with Canada's aboriginal communities. |
I am addicted to using email for saying things in a stronger way than I would normally. I seem to be pissing people off... April 2005, Article 2 Dear Office-Politics, I am addicted to using email for saying things in a stronger
way than I would normally. I recognize that not seeing or hearing an instant
reaction to what you are saying enables you to plow ahead with expressing
your thoughts. I try to resolve to talk with people in person instead
of emailing. However, 50% of the time, my coworkers are not available
and email provides an instant outlet for my current thoughts. I seem to
be pissing people off on a regular basis and it surprises me every time.
Thanks, Dear Addicted-to-Email, First off, I love your self-awareness and candor. Glad to see that you are aware your actions may be alienating people and that you want to take action to correct this. You are obviously skilled at communicating but the question is: Are you having a dialogue or a monologue with your coworkers? Perhaps you have a bright future as a litigation lawyer? (I'm only partly being facetious.) Certain personalities enjoy being precise with their words, and relish the chance to structure their 'argument' so that their opponent loses, or at least is left 'writhing on the mat'. Putting things in writing is also useful to 'CYA', and all lawyers love having a paper trail... But humor aside and assuming that you have no ambitions to be a lawyer, I can see why your coworkers would groan when they receive emails from you. Thoughts may be rushing through their heads like, "Addicted-to-email is sending me another loaded missile. I can read between the lines what he's really saying... He's covering his ass so he doesn't get blamed down the road," OR "Why is he bothering me with this minor detail? Doesn't he get the big picture (e.g. next week's deadline)?" As you've so astutely concluded, being quick with the send key is not
good for fostering positive relationships. Relying solely on emails for
communication (especially with people you see everyday) is a bad habit.
So it's good that you want to break yourself of it. Here are some suggestions:
To be good at office politics is to know: whom to speak to, when
to speak, when to back off, and when to push your agenda forward.
And choose your mode of communication wisely. Some things are much better
spoken than written. That's why emoticoms have a place in written emails
-- they soften the words. Regards, Franke Franke James, MFA
The Ethics Letters that appears as a feature of this Website is an educational and discussion oriented column designed to help the reader better understand ethical issues. The matters discussed in the letter are reviewed in a summary/abbreviated way and are only meant to foster thinking on the part of the reader. If a person decides to adopt or implement suggestions, they do so at their own risk. No representation or warranty is provided in relation to suggestions or the contents of the letter. Neither the authors of the letter, Franke James, John W. Burton, or the owners of this Website accept any liability whatsoever for any opinions expressed in the letter or for errors and omissions. Submission of letters to the Office-Politics Forum grants the Publisher, Nerdheaven Ltd. the right to reproduce, republish, repurpose and excerpt the submission in any and all other media, without compensation or contacting the author. Copyright Nerdheaven Ltd. 2002-2005
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