What is OfficePolitics.com? Real People. Real Problems. Expert Advice.
Franke James is Editor/Founder of Office-Politics.com and Inventor of the Office-Politics® Game.
Peter R. Garber has worked as an HR professional for over 25 years and is the author of many business books including: Winning the Rat Race at Work and 100 Ways to Get on the Wrong Side of your Boss.
Dina Beach Lynch, is an Ombudsman, Author and former attorney. An award-winning mediator, Dina served as the Corporate Ombudsman for the 7th largest bank in the US helping over 48,000 employees to resolve workplace issues.
Dr. Rick Brandon is CEO of Brandon Partners. He has consulted and trained tens of thousands at corporations worldwide, including Fortune 500 companies across a variety of industries.
Dr. Marty Seldman is one of America's most experienced executive coaches. His 35-year career includes expertise in executive coaching, group dynamics, cross-cultural studies, clinical psychology, and training.
Arnie Herz, is a lawyer, mediator, speaker, author and consultant nationally recognized for his practical and inspired approach to conflict resolution and client counseling.
Dr. John Burton LL.B. M.B.A. M.Div. Ph.D. is an ethicist, mediator, lawyer and theologian. John is currently located in Prince Rupert, B.C., Canada, working with Canada's aboriginal communities.
I really do not want to have to leave the company over this high school $!#!...
I have some serious problems at work... I am nothing but nice to everyone I work with, but for some reason none of the other women like me.
Some men I work with told me it is because I am young,
attractive and good at what I do, but I do not feel like that is a
fair reason not to like me. I sent one of my female bosses a birthday
card even and I still heard from someone that she hates me and talks
behind my back a lot. I really do not want to have to leave the company
over this high school $#!, but it makes me feel pretty bad and depressed.
Is there anything that I can do? Please help.
Dear Really Nice,
You seem to have done a good job of building a network of people who are willing to give you a "heads up" about the "buzz" on you. Unfortunately the "buzz" is negative and disturbing.
We have a lot of empathy for what you are going through. If your assessment of the situation is accurate then this may be an overly political environment in which you will continue to feel bad. There are some things to learn and to try. The first is that often office politics is not about fairness, it is about power. So we encourage you to look at the realities of your situation in terms of your relative power. If you are young and competent then you have other options in life. We're not suggesting you leave now but it would be good to test to see if things will ever change. Is there anyone who is aware of the situation, has power in the organization, and is willing to speak up for you? If not, we would skillfully ask your boss for feedback. There is a possibility you are doing some things you are not aware of.
If she is not honest with you or says things that are wildly inaccurate that may help you make your decision. If you do leave we would do more research about your next place of employment. Every organization has politics but some are more likely to base decisions on competence.
Thanks for writing to Office-Politics.
Rick Brandon, Ph.D. and Marty Seldman, Ph.D., Co-authors
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